


Vegeta: Death Driver 2

by GokuGirl



Series: The Vegeta Humiliation Chronicles [9]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-08-10
Updated: 2000-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4385054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 3 of the Driving Arc. Trunks and Goten join Vegeta on a trip to the store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vegeta: Death Driver 2

"Oh Vegeta, honey!" Bulma called out sweetly. "Can you do me an itty bitty little favor?"

Vegeta, the short King of the former race of Saiyans, grunted as his video game playing was interrupted.

"Can you wait a minute, onna? I'm trying to beat Ultimecia!" He made a little noise of happiness as he looked at the large television screen. "She has just junctioned herself to Greiver! I made it to the third stage!"

Bulma growled and marched up to the t.v.'s extension cord.

"NOOOO! Don't do it!" Vegeta cried as he dove for her. Smirking evilly, she pulled the main plug cutting power to both the t.v. and the Playstation.

"ONNA!!"

Bulma sat next to the slightly sobbing Veggie and patted his hand. "All that over a video game."

"It had taken me WEEKS of planning to get that far! I take this * _very_ * seriously."

His mate just rolled her eyes and asked her question. "I need you to run to the store for me," she began.

"Why can't you do it yourself?"

"Because I told Juu-chan that I would babysit Marron for her while she went to the Health Spa with Krillin!"

"Fine," Veggie sighed. "I'll just walk to the corner store..."

"No."

"NO?!"

"You can't go there. I need a special ingredient for the food I'm making. You know that cooking class I've been taking?"

Vegeta smirked. "The brat and I thank you for it."

She hit him jokingly and continued. "Well, the final exam is later this week. I need to practice making Fettuccine Alfredo."

"You need a special ingredient for Fettuccine Alfredo?" He raised an eyebrow. "Even I know you don't."

"I want it to be wonderful!"

"Then do you want me to talk to Kami?" He continued at her quizzical expression. "Because for that, you're gonna need a miracle!"

***

"Stupid onna," Veggie muttered. "Making me go to the damn specialty store."

"Papa!" A cheerful voice called out.

"What is it brat?" Vegeta paused as he was starting to get into his convertible.

The two boys came running from around a corner of the house. "Can we go too?" he asked. Goten nodded hopefully.

Vegeta growled. "Why? Why do you want to go?"

"Because I promised Goten we would do something exciting today. Going places with you while you're driving is always fun!"

Sighing, Vegeta motioned to his vehicle. "C'mon, get in."

"YEA!" They both cheered.

"And shut up!"

They hopped over the passenger door and both settled themselves into the front seat, Goten by the door.

"Where are we going anyway, Vegeta-ojisan?" Goten asked.

"To the supermarket." He closed the door and stuck the key into the ignition and turned it.

{And to Melissa: Look! No phone book this time!}

"THE SUPERMARKET?!" they both exclaimed.

"What did Kaasan do? Threaten you with the couch again?" Trunks snickered. "And why are we driving? The store's just down the street."

"The woman thinks that she must have a special spice for food."

Trunks and Goten nodded knowingly. "Aa."

"Do we have to eat it?" Goten asked fearfully. "I think I might go home for dinner."

"Can I come too?" Trunks asked.

"Cut that out!" Reaching up to the visor, he pulled on his 'cool shades'. He had traded in the goggles for the designer sunglasses two months ago at Bulma's insistence. "If I suffer you brats do too."

Putting the gear into drive he took off, the speedometer instantly rising to 75.

"PAPA!" Trunks yelled above the rushing wind, or at least tried to. Vegeta moved one eye his way and raised an eyebrow. "Can I put in a cd?!"

His Tousan nodded slightly and then Trunks started to dig around in the glove compartment. Selecting one, he stuck it in. Pushing the button on the player several times it landed on a song that Vegeta hated with a vengeance.

[ _Hi! My name is..._  
What? My name is...  
Who? My name is...   
Slim Shady]

"Oh * _hell_ * no!" Vegeta shrieked as he pushed eject. "Why was the damn thing even in my car?!" He skillfully maneuvered a slow semi and headed directly for the onramp to the interstate.

Trunks looked as innocent as was possible for him. "I dunno..."

Goten shot him a look. "I thought you said that you were leavin' in there to annoy Vegeta-ojisan." he whispered loudly.

Trunks elbowed him sharply. "Well thank you, Goten!" he said sarcastically.

The smaller boy grinned. "No problem!"

" * _I_ * will pick some music," slowing to a stop at a red light, he leaned over the kids and started to look around.

3 minutes later he was still looking.

And now the long line of vehicles behind them were honking.

"SHUT UP AND GO AROUND!" he yelled over the seat. Finally after another minute and a half, he pulled his favorite soundtrack out and stuck the disc into the player. He selected song number 18 and got back behind the wheel. Trunks picked up the discarded case and whined.

"Not the Lion King again! I'm tired of..." he tried off as he saw the small pinpoint of ki on his tousan's finger. "Uh, nevermind."

Vegeta pressed his foot onto the gas and they were off again.

"I'M GONNA BE A MIGHTY KING, SO ENEMIES BEWARE.  
WELL, I'VE NEVER SEEN A KING OF BEASTS WITH QUITE SO LITTLE HAIR..."

Vegeta did this all off-key and at the top of his large saiyan lungs. Trunks and Goten both covered their ears and pretended that they were somewhere else. Vegeta, in the meantime, had gotten on the freeway via the onramp, and was currently trying to get over into the far left lane.

"I'M GONNA BE THE MAIN EVENT, LIKE NO KING WAS BEFORE  
I'M BRUSHING UP ON LOOKING DOWN, I'M WORKING ON MY ROAR!!"

"Man Trunks," Goten said above the noise, "You Tousan must save his good voice for the shower!"

Vegeta glared briefly before he launched into the chorus.

"OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!"

Goten shrugged and then joined in.

"NO ONE SAYING DO THIS! NO ONE SAYING BE THERE!  
NO ONE SAYING STOP THAT! NO ONE SAYING BE HERE!"

Trunks tried to sink lower into his seat while clutching at his ears but it didn't work out too well.

"FREE TO RUN AROUND ALL DAY! FREE TO DO IT ALL MY WAY!"

"Someone please kill me now!" Trunks moaned.

Vegeta pushed the accelerator to the floor and the speedometer quickly climbed to 100. They passed a redneck and his pickup truck, a minivan car pool, and a station wagon full of nuns who all made the sign of the cross at their passing. Trunks then got the idea that it was better to try and drown them out with his own voice instead of trying to ignore him. He immediately picked up on Zazu's part and joined in.

"I THINK IT'S TIME THAT YOU AND I ARRANGED A HEART TO HEART" he belted out.

"KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORNBILLS FOR A START!" Goten and Vegeta sang in unison.

"IF THIS IS WHERE THE MONARCHY IS HEADED, COUNT ME OUT! OUT OF SERVICE, OUT OF AFRICA, I WOULDN'T HANG ABOUT. THIS CHILD IS GETTING WILDLY OUT OF WING!"

"OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!"

"One more time!" Vegeta said almost cheerfully.

"NO!!!!"

***

{Okay, now here is the "Death Driver" part}

"I can't believe we had to run all over that stupid store for that imported oregano!" Trunks grumbled. "What makes it different from the other stuff?"

"It's imported?" Goten asked.

Trunks hit him. "Baka, besides that."

"Maybe they use only the," here Veggie started to mimic some snooty lady, "leaves of highest quality. Grown on our worldclass oregano farm."

Trunks and Goten started to crack up. "Oregano farm?!" Trunks asked.

Vegeta shrugged as he pushed the button to unlock the doors and turn off his alarm on the little remote on his car keys. "They have farms for everything else. For something that cost me 25 American dollars it better cure Cancer or something."

He started the car and they drove off back to Satan City from Tokyo. As they waiting for the light to change a very familiar person pulled up in a green car beside them.

Vegeta glanced over to the right and raised an eyebrow. "Well, well. Look what we have here. I didn't think they allowed morons to get licenses!"

The drivers side window slid down and Yamcha glared out. "I didn't know that they gave 'em to apes either."

Vegeta's eyes narrowed but his smirk only got wider. "You wanna prove who's the better man?"

Goten and Trunks looked back and forth between the two eagerly.

"Why not? I've got time to kill." A slow smirk made its way across Yamcha's scarred visage.

"Trunks, my cruisin' music."

Trunks rooted around in the glove compartment and pulled out a cd. Soon the first sounds of Jermaine Dupri and Jay-Z's "Money Ain't a Thing" pounded out of the stereo.

"Why Vegeta!" Yamcha said not quite sarcastically. "You never struck me as a rap fan!"

Vegeta just shrugged, put his shades on, and gunned the engine. As soon as the light turned green, they both took off down the road, turning onto the closest backroad that they could find.

[ _In the Ferrari, a Jaguar, switchin' four lanes_  
With the top down screaming out  
Money ain't a thang]

Goten grabbed onto the edge of the window and leaned his head out like dog, hair being whipped out by the force of the wind. Trunks climbed over the seat and proceeded to do the same thing. The human gritted his teeth in concentration and continued on. He knew that they finish line would be the Satan City limit.

Soon Vegeta grinned menacingly and turned the steering wheel sharply to the right. He hit Yamcha's car, almost knocking him off the road.

"Tousan! What are you doing?!" Trunks shouted out.

"WINNING!"

Vegeta hit a button on the dash and the center of the steering wheel slid away, displaying several buttons like those on Speed Racer's car, the Mock Five. He pressed one labeled "S" and * _extremely_ * sharp spikes ejected themselves from hidden compartments on the sides of his vehicle.

"Mwhahahaha!"

"Wow!" Goten shouted, amazed, your car is like the Batmobile!"

"You ain't seen nothing yet!" Eyes glinting evilly, he swerved and collided with the now frightened Yamcha.

"Tousan! Are you trying to kill him?" Trunks asked.

"Maybe."

"SUGOI!"

Speed rising to 120, they zoomed by the Satan City limit sign. Yamcha tried to signal Vegeta to stop but the saiyan would not let up. As Yamcha's life began to flash in his eyes, a helicopter flew over their heads. The cop on the loudspeaker was shouted something to Vegeta.

"YOU IN THE BLACK CONVERTIBLE! HALT YOUR VEHICLE AND STEP OUT OF THE CAR!" When Vegeta didn't comply, he repeated it again thinking the he didn't hear him. "I SAID STEP OUT OF THE CAR!!"

Pressing the button labeled "L" on the control panel, some panels on the hood of his car slid away and up rose laser machine guns. Yamcha had already disappeared some time ago while Veggie was distracted so he was not harmed when the short saiyan opened fire.

Several large explosions ignited all over the machinery as small fires sprung into existence. Vegeta slammed on the brakes just in time to narrowly miss having something that big flatten him, the kids, and the car as it crashed to the concrete and burst into a huge ball of flame.

Trunks vaulted over the door and ran as close to the fire as he dared. "SUGOI!!!"

"And that, brats," Vegeta said, "is how you handle Five-O."


End file.
